Nights

I feel that I should post this before I sleep.
Feeling moody lately without work occupying me, thinking of u all day, wanting to text u so badly but then again I'm scare to do so, hoping to see u or even at least Skype with u.

How I miss I could study with u, spend time with u, watching u do ur work and u watch me do mine.

Today I feel really down, don even want to go out at all, everytime I look at u online Skype and looking at my phone hoping u could at least pop me a msg, but in the same time I know that's not going to happen.

Today I took out the letters u once write for me, not sure u still came mine anot :(
I read the first one when we were officially together :) I felt the joy that I was feeling that day, I felt the love from u from that letter from that day, I truthfully miss them, ur love ur care ur heart.

Then I read the 2nd letter, the one where we ended our relationship, I did not want to read it at the first place cause I scare I may cry out again but then thinking so wat if I tear?

So I carry on, while reading it till the ending part I did tear, i know I broke ur heart fully that day, those words u use, those line I read through one by one, I hurts me so much.

I want to throw that letter away as it reminds me losing u, u that was important to me till now u still are. But then this are the only letters u gave me, the only things left from u and also the lama key chain.

I miss u calling me 10-10 and spongebob, i miss ur smile, the smile that show that ur happy to see me, I miss ur hug and the smell of ur hair, I really do.

I won't give up, I won't ! I really want u back and I really do. I want u back in my arms. I love u

Dead

She is not coming back Charles, not coming back.

Just like da tuo, she won't come back cause she's dead, Debra won't come back cause her heart for u is also dead.

U bought this to yourself, no one to blame. No one just u just u.

I really wish there was a time machine,
Some things in life, u only know how to treasure it and it's important once u lose it but then the thing is, once lose nvr will it be back.

Her heart had already left u in the past and nvr will it be back.

All now I can do is smile smile and smile .

I really regret really really regret. All this years I could not forget nor for give myself.

She is strong but not me, I may look strong but nvr is nvr was.

I wan u back really!! I wan u in my arms!! The smell of ur hair, the little cheeks of urs, the warm hug of urs, I still love u till this day, this very day. Nothing really change, nothing at all.

But wats there good about it when her heart for me is dead.

Y y I can't have a second chance y, y gal y, u will nvr come back, nvr come back, my mind says but I wan u back, i wan u back my heart says.

A second chance is all I need and all I wanted but . . .

Da tuo is gone and so is she, I really wish da tuo is here. I always sit outside with her chatting talking about my problems, she is gone now, gone forever.

Debra ow ur the first gal I truthfully love with my whole heart, u ask me to find someone better but no there is no one, others maybe better then u but I don't need a better wan, I just need u.

I will always love u :) always
Charles looi chun hoe

13 cheese cake ill rmb ;) smiling to sleep tonight, but not cause I'm happy.

Smiling with tears tonight. . . .

Weekends

My week End turns out to be ups and down ;( first da tuo die :( which I really miss her alot now ;( yes I have prepare myself for the bad news but nvr though of it coming so fast :( on a sat :(

I really miss her and I nearly cried :( da tuo pa pa misses u :( ur fur ur hyper ness and the times we spend at ur home we talk about things, haha more like u listen to me talk about my problems :( ur like my ear but just u have a much more longer ones hahaha

After that I met up with tham and Debra had a awesome outing haha wish could be longer :) was so shy testing out cloths lor pls -_- with them looking -_- hahaha bought one top and it's not bad looking hahaha and it was like food day !!! When here and there to eat!! Hahaha had so much chocolate man :( hahaha

The day was fun with tham and Debra :) so glad I could make it :) thanks god or them :) but then Debra had to go off for studies :( till so late hope she will do fine for her exam hahaha then she can rest well :) feb is here and when I come back from Malaysia I shall do wat I plan to do :)

That's my wish this year hahaha
I really miss her and u ;(
And stop saying other gals are cute to me hahhaha cause ur still the cutest of all

Lastly today sun morning was not a good start:( woke up by family quarrel :(

And now the house is very black :( everyone is having a black face ;( and I can do nothing about it ;( siaz I miss da tuo :(

If she was here I will just sit there and tell her all this in stead of writing it here ;(

Wish there was someone to hear me now hahaha but all busy with work and study :(

O well :)

Anw da tuo pa pa love u :)
Will be there one day to meet u again ok :)
Enjoy o:)

Missing u right now right here ;) Jia you for ur studies